The final days of last week have been difficult days emotionally. I am not sure why. There is no new news, no reason to begin thinking anything but positive thoughts about my treatment, yet I find myself in a dark place.
I am out in public and see couples who are in their golden years and my heart aches because I am no longer confident I will get to experience that with Nancy.
When Joseph was visiting we had a great time together. I enjoyed the opportunity to spend a week with him and hear of his life and how he is moving forward toward all his dreams and goals. He was a great help around the house. We took care of a number of projects together. I found myself looking at projects that were important and needed to be taken care of so that if Nancy ended up living in our home alone, life would be easier. The kind of things that were less fun and glamorous yet would eliminate problems down the road.
I went out to dinner the other night. In the booth across the way there were grandparents with their grandchildren. It was loud, it was rowdy…it was fun. It brought a smile to my face. I could not help but wonder if I would ever have the opportunity to take my grandkids to dinner. Would I have an opportunity to love on them, to spoil them to speak words of hope and life into their young lives? (I am in no rush for grandkids…just a note for Joe and Rayann) [Read more…]