Today was Nancy’s Birthday.
It was a busy day. There were issues at work, she helped my mom and dad as they settled on their new home, and she took care of me. Her days are often filled with caring for many different people. I am often amazed she has any energy left at the end of a day. I am very thankful for the way she helps and cares for me. Her support is making this journey of mine possible.
While I will not tell you how old she is I will share that we have spent the last 26 years learning how to live and walk this journey together. A few weeks ago she shared another one of her writings with me. Anytime Nancy writes is a sacred time…she has a unique ability to capture truth and share from her heart.
I share with you her latest written thoughts:
Can Fear Be My Friend?
While fear had always been an acquaintance of mine, lately it seems to be my shadow. In the past many of my fears (or phobias as my family called them) were not probable but more the product of an overactive imagination: what if the roller coaster crashes while I am on the top; what if the last person who read this library book had a contagious disease; what if an escaped prisoner breaks into my house the one night of the year Dan is out of town? Not fears that have come true.
Today, my fears are more realistic. What if Dan catches an illness during Chemotherapy and can’t recover? What if the tumors start growing again? Can I pay the mortgage if we go down to one income? Am I giving our children enough attention or will they grow to resent me? Like fears of the past, these may also not come to fruition, but there is a thin line between ignoring fears and planning to overcome possible problems.
There are days that I wake up and greet the day as a new opportunity. Other days I seem to make a constant mental list of all the new fears in my life. Thinking on fears leads me to wonder if I am worrying, which shows a lack of faith which makes me afraid I am even letting God down in my weakness. On the other hand, ignoring these issues could be reckless because then I won’t be ready to face them if they do become real. [Read more…]