I know. It has been some time since I last posted something on my blog. I apologize if my absence has made you nervous or caused you to question my well-being. The past few weeks have been a season for me. A season where my journal has gotten more attention than this blog. My journal is for me. This blog is for public consumption. I promise that in the future, if things are difficult and warrant sharing I will share it here. If you do not hear from me for a season simply assume I am in one of those more introspective and private times of life.
I have been on a six week break from chemo treatments. At first I was very nervous and somewhat anxious about this whole break thing. I mean honestly, if the chemo is what is working to keep my cancer at bay who in their right mind would want a break? For the first few weeks I felt every ache, pain, twinge in my body and was convinced that it was the cancer coming back. Forget the fact that I am 48 years old and even on my best days was “blessed” with new and unexplainable aches and pains. Slowly I learned to relax and rest quietly, allowing my body to take advantage of this break from chemo treatments. This break lasted six weeks and by the fifth and sixth week I have been able to emotionally relax and be at peace with where I am on this journey.
THE RETURN OF “DAN”
Somewhere around week three I was on my way home from the office and I realized that it had been a particularly productive day. It brought a smile to my face. Mind you it was not anywhere near pre-cancer productive but it was much better than where I had been while in the midst of treatment. Slowly I have been returning to myself. I am able to read AND remember what I read like before treatments. My energy levels are up. This is in part due to the fact that I am living smarter. I pace myself better and I take time away much easier than I used to. When I get tired I take a nap. If I work a long day on Tuesday…Wednesday moves at a much slower pace. I have been forced to learn how to live within my energy levels and I am more productive because of it. [Read more…]