This morning I had an appointment with my oncologist. A simple and quick port flush, in and out in less than fifteen minutes.
As sat in the waiting room for the nurses to be ready for me my emotions were all over the place. I was the only person in the waiting room so it was quiet and I was alone with my thoughts. This visit was very different than my first visit back on May 6, 2016.
Our first appointment in 2016 was filled with fear, anxiety, and panic – it was anything but peaceful. Did you catch the “our?” I could not have traveled this journey without Nancy, her support has been amazing.
Slowly, very slowly, our times in the waiting room slipped into a routine. They became our normal way of life.
Humbled By My Newest Reality
The last time I was in the office was on July 12, 2019 – forty-two days ago. I have scans scheduled for September 27th followed by a return to the office on October 11th.
Sitting in the office this morning I reflected on my past routine. Monday treatments. The following Friday for bloodwork and to see Dr. Saroha. Some weeks I would be in that office two or three times a week. There was one week I threatened to stop by on Thursday so I could say I had been to the office every day of the week.
Forty-two days without a visit feels like an eternity.
Redemption, Renewal, and Transformation
Last night Nancy and I met with a group of people from the Church of the Advent, in Kennett Square to share our journey of the past three years.
As we gathered it was a blessing to share how God has met us in the darkest moments of life. In the midst of our conversation, I was struck by how amazing it is to see the Spirit of God at work.
I was no longer the person filled with fear and anxiety as we waited in my oncologist’s office back in 2016. God had redeemed my darkest of moments. There had been moments of transformation. I was renewed, renewed more than once as God walked alongside me.
Who knows what tomorrow holds? With each scan, there is the possibility of “difficult news.” News that talks of growing cells and renewed treatment. Should that become my reality I am confident that the One who walked with me through the past three years will remain faithful. Redeeming, renewing, and transforming that which was meant to harm me for good. [Read more…]