Today we started my first round of systemic chemotherapy, for the fourth time.
I felt like Mr. Peterson as I returned to chemotherapy today. Over the past four years I have had the opportunity to get to know a great many nurses.
Walking in I was greeted with choruses of NORM! or in my case Dan while I made my way to the chair that was to be my home for the next four hours.
One big difference being I never got a beer.
Nurses that recognized me were quick to say hello and come over for a kind greeting. I had not seen most of these nurses for about eight months. We re-connected, talked about family, some of my journey these past months, and then got down to the work at hand.
In short order my nurse for the day had me hooked up to a pump and we started another round of chemotherapy.
Cancer Fight Club
As I got settled in I noticed this picture in the window. I have no idea who Joe is. His message really meant a lot this morning.
I hope you feel better
I am sorry that you’re sick.
Keep fighting the cancer.
Don’t give up! You got this!
I’m praying for you and your family.
I know the experience is hard.
I know God will help you.
You are going to kick cancers butt.
Cancer Fight Club
Oh Dignity My DignityVery early on this journey, I shared a post, O Dignity, my Dignity, wherefore art thou my Dignity? that spoke to how I fit into the “one-size-fits-all” gowns the hospital provides.
Last week I went for my MRCP and was once again handed a one-size-fits-all gown to wear. This time there was a mirror in the changing room. I figured these circumstances provided the perfect opportunity for me to model how these gowns work for me.
Returning from my procedure I showed Nancy the picture. The first words out of her mouth were, “You are not going to put that on your blog are you?”
It was a crazy question, why else would one bother to take such a picture.
Returning to the Familiar
This day may have been a first, as in first chemotherapy treatment this round.
It felt more like a returning. A returning to something familiar and normal.
A part of me is thankful for that reality. I do not envy those who embark upon this journey for the first time. It is filled with uncertainty, fear, and the unknown.
I am grateful for the opportunity to continue fighting.
I also realize that while knowing what to expect can be a blessing, it can also make the journey that much more difficult.
In many ways anticipating the onset of side effects is worse than what physically happens. So much of this journey, like much of life, is mental and spiritual.
My goal is to live and move focused on remaining mentally and spiritually strong.
Tomorrow will be a big day for our country. I stumbled across one of my posts from four years ago, A Psalm for Election Day. In reading it over I do not think there is much I would change.