I find myself in an odd place. Six months into a break from chemo I am excited to be gaining strength. At the same time, I am wondering when my break will end.
When people ask, “How are you doing?” I find it hard to answer. I am experiencing life the same way I do a special vacation or trip. The first part of my time away I am super excited and enjoy counting the days away from the routine. At some point I am closer to going home than to when I arrived. At that moment I begin to count down the days till I return. While I try to stay excited and engaged in the trip, the closer I get to the time we leave, the harder it gets.
Hearing the doctor say, “You have stage IV colon cancer” was hard. Harder still was waiting for the elevator outside the oncologist’s office when I was told it was time to end my first break and re-enter treatment. Nancy and I could hardly look at each other. We quietly said, “We have done this before, we will do it again” and started to prepare for the journey. [Read more…]