Chemo Round 3
Monday, March 19th found me sitting in the treatment chair listening to the rhythm of the pump as I received my third treatment. Part of me is amazed at how fast we are progressing through the treatments. Time moves on and in a short while we will be looking at this round of treatment in the rearview mirror.
We are using different drugs which my body is responding to in very different ways. I foolishly thought I could plan on moving through this round like I did last time. It has taken me a few weeks to understand and accept the reality that this round was going to be different.
I do not bounce back as fast from treatment. Chemo weeks find me struggling to function well. Friday of each treatment week feels like someone turns a switch and I feel more like myself. The week between treatments slowly begins to feel like normal. I move slow, get tired, have a hard time concentrating and nausea comes and goes without warning, but I am able to function. During non-treatment weeks I hear lots of people say, “You look great.” The truth is that simply looking at me would not reveal the reality of what is going on in my life.
During the ebbs and flows of treatment I have been able to maintain an active work schedule. I have found time to focus on what really matters. There have been conversations that move past simple things and towards deeper realities.
Care giver, Care receiver
Nancy and I have adjusted back into our caregiver, care receiver roles. It is not always easy for either one of us. I do not always want to be cared for, even though I may need it. The weight of moving through life as a caregiver can become heavy and there are times Nancy becomes overwhelmed.
I share this next piece of life not because it is pretty, nor particularly uplifting. It does, however, capture the reality of the challenges caregivers and care receivers struggle through. [Read more…]